It's was 2001 and I got my lesbian best friend pregnant on a drunk quest. We both stopped drinking got married and had a baby and played house for two year which got us our second son. That we couldn't blame on booze just being horny and sleeping together we would randomly screw.
Fast forward sixteen years later. My lesbian wife got her memory back and recalls being a lesbian and would like her old life back. She has a girlfriend from hell. In order to make this happen the way she wants she outs me as gay and our marriage all as a scam. My sons are confused as hell and left with two gay separated parents getting a divorce. Their Mother said I did my part I get to live my life now. See ya.
She has movers come and and take what she felt was hers, which was not a lot but the process trashed the house. I wake up on Sunday Morning to a mess and both sons, looking very guilty of something. Sitting way too close together for being in just their underwear and t-shirts.
This was also this first opportunity to ask questions. Chip was the oldest and leaving for college in a matter of six weeks. Ernest or Ernie the youngest was sixteen offering girls just about anything for sexual favors.
Chip - Dad I'm over eighteen when is the last time you did gay stuff?
Dad - About nineteen years ago, I broke up with a boyfriend, and went out and got drunk with your mother the next night. We screwed and you were conceived. We both went straight together.
Ernie - So after twenty years are you still gay?
Dad - Yeah, I'm gay. The important part is I am single and just like your mother I can move on with my life and with the two of you.
Ernie - I am I going to be safe after Chip goes to college? You won't turn me gay will you?
Chip - I told you bro you were born that way just like dad.
Dad - I have had a hard enough time being gay myself. I would not wish being gay on anyone. Let alone make them that way.
Ernie - So, just find another female you and get drunk a screw.
Dad - it doesn't work that way.
Chip - It did for fifteen years. Most marriages in the US only last 7 to 8 years. You and mom did good under false pretense's.
You mother and I were best friends first. We worked in a gay bar together just part time while we were going to college. You guys can we talk about the mess the house is in?
Chip - We already have the problem solved dad we just move the furniture in the casitas into the house so it is empty. We will have furniture to use in the house until you replace it. With the casita empty you will be able to rent it out and make some extra money.
Dad - Wow you do have the problem solved. Let go out there and see what we need.
They put the bed in their dad's room. The sofa and the kitchen table and chairs in the main house. Then just packed up grandma's old dishes and stuff from the kitchen cabinets. It was a very tacky make do house that could work for a while anyway.
The boys come home and clean the casita spotless in three and a half hours. I get home and they were putting away the cleaning stuff. I then freak how clean the place is. They even did the oven which seem a bit spurious. Chad said you set it to clean and for how long you got and wipe it out when it is done.
The boys took the liberty to order pizza off my PayPal account for dinner and than read to me the add they want to put in the paper.
1200 foot casita, four rooms private entrance and off street parking in driveway. LGBTQ+ friendly. Swimming Pool privileges.
Chip's best subject was English, and LGBTQ was an awesome touch. I was impressed they help me go online and place the add in the news paper. I was going to ask for $700. they said no the going rate was $1000, and we should ask for $900. I'm thinking we never get that but I can always come down in price for the right person.
Chip was looking for college he knows this stuff and I hit submit. I had three applications by 1 PM the next day and I texted Chip the good news. Applications that the boys wanted to check out with me before calling anyone. I start looking over the two young men and one female. One one was openly gay on his application, he was twenty eight and getting his masters degree in clinical social work. Then alarm bells go off he works for the school district. What are the chances he might know my children. I call Charles Douglas and invite him to have dinner with us but do not tell my sons.
I make Chicken Alfredo and plan to serve it with a salad, the boys knew something was up and question the use of real palates not paper plates. They have to do the dinner dishes.
The door bell rings the boys freak and do actually know him. Maybe the most important factor he was freaking me out hot. With a voice that would make Darth Vader jealous. I fell in lust right away and was ready to do him across the dinner table and before dinner. He was being thrown questions from the boys like crazy. We sit down to eat with a plan to get to know each other before showing him the casita.
By the time dinner was over the boys and Charlie admitted he was more interested in me than the casita. He had seen me at a school function three months ago, and found out about the gay divorce before there even was gay marriage. He knew I was gay and single and he was more than interested. He even helped the boys clean up the casita by paying for a maid service.
The four of us go out to the casita and Charlie is so convinced we are perfect for each other he is willing to move in and pay rent while we get to know each other. The boys love him to death already.
Then Ernie suggests he should just spend the night.
Ernie - The last time my dad had sex with someone they were together for fifteen years, and they were just best friends, gay, and not even attracted to each other.
Chip - It's been nineteen years since dad has been with a guy, I'm surprised you guys made it through dinner without raping each other. Ernie let's go play a video game in my bedroom and give these guys room to make moves on each other.
Ernie - There is a blow up mattress in the bedroom closet for ya, if you can't make it back to your bedroom.
Weird that that following morning we both decided he should just move in my bed room, and use his bedroom set. We gave Ernie mine and the casita for his last few years in high school.
The Gay Divorce - Story Time Blog
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